Priorities, adventures, love and happiness - living life in the moment

Way back when, at the beginning of this year, we (as in me and my Beloved) recognised that despite all we have and are grateful for in our lives, we were not feeling particularly content.  We had (once again) created exceptionally busy day-to-day lives for ourselves.  Too busy.  We were not allowing enough time and space to embrace the slow living adventures we enjoy with the people we love.  We made the following decisions:-

1. We would make some changes to redress our work-life balance.
2. We would use any spare cash and time we have on adventures - family holidays, mini-breaks, daytrips, creating experiences at home and beyond.
3. We would become increasingly engaged in the activities we enjoy individually and together as a family.
4. We would prioritise spending more time with the people we love.
5. We would reconnect with each other and stop blaming each other for all that felt wrong with our worlds.

We saw that we  needed more time simply 'being' and less time 'doing'.  We were in agreement this was non-negotiable.

The following actions occurred:-

• We reduced the opening hours of our tea room for three months and then went on to close it.
• We reversed our decision (thankfully not acted upon) to give up our allotment plot.
• We continued to offer catering and styling for large scale events. 
• My Beloved continued to enjoy his full-time work.
• I purchased a sketch pad with the intention of using it.

By the time the kids returned to school in September after the Summer holidays, we recognised these things had happened:-

1. We had enjoyed some amazing family adventures which confirmed to us that we wanted to spend more of our time in this way.
2. Our boys had regained the attention from us that they deserve and that we want to give. 
3. Over a four month period we had catered and styled; nine weddings, 2 corporate 'do's', three charity bashes and a couple of Vintage Markets - we had a fantastic team working with us and were grateful for the fun and joy that each event brought with it.
4. We had worked too hard over the summer months and we were feeling exhausted and depleted.
5. We were enjoying the harvest of home grown vegetables - thanks to the efforts and gardening talents of my Beloved.
6. I had rediscovered a love of drawing - just for the sake of the pleasure of it.
7. We were still blaming each other during times when things felt stressful or wrong.

We came to realise that running an events business is not conducive to the family life we want to live.  We decided to stop with the events side of the business. This would result in us having less income, of course, but we would be buying back our time and energy...priceless!

Over the course of the year alongside the changes we were making, I had also become increasingly aware that despite feeling like I 'got it' - the meaning of life and what was most important to me - I still wasn't really living it.  I was riding a wave of everchanging emotions, often feeling frustrated, completely shattered, and a bit trapped.  I didn't know which way to turn next and found myself wondering if I was either A) losing my mind, B) moving headlong into menopause (at 46 I'm not getting any younger!) or C) both of the above.

Around this time,  I joined a social media conversation with a Transformational Coach, who has become my friend, Sara Sanderson. Through her Facebook Group 'Tea & Insights', Sara shares an approach which views this whole business of being human from a different perspective and encourages her clients to see that we all have this innate ability to create our own experience of life from within.    I have found a sense of calm and peace that I have never felt previously.  A number of interesting developments have since occurred.

• I feel a new sense of freedom and see that the only boundaries I feel hemmed in by are those I have been placing on myself.
• Me and my Beloved, we have stopped blaming each other and trying to 'win' at being 'right'  :)  Of course, we both still have the capacity to behave like idiots from time to time but we see that for what it is rather than me jumping to the almost immediate conclusion that we have grounds for divorce!
• Parenting is accompanied by a sense of ease.
• I am enjoying life and finding the fun on a whole different level.  Hurrah!

And so, here we are in the depths of Autumn, me and him, my Beloved, looking back in wonder at all that we have experienced, and gained,  from this year so far.  In choosing to look in a different direction, we are finding new joy and our hearts are thankful and full of gratitude. We are more at peace with ourselves and with each other.

I continue to run our business Teatime Vintage which now operates as a little artisan bakery and vintage china and prop hire business.  I am choosing to combine my love of slow living and my passion for writing  in a new online space which goes by the name of Willow & Jam.  I am collaborating with a friend to explore the potential for developing an idea that has been bubbling away for some time.  On our recent holiday, I drew a picture of The Six Year Old wandering along a sandy road - I've always said I cant draw 'people'.....turns out there is no such thing as can't!

Choices can sometimes feel limited.  Happiness can feel like an elusive thing, something to be searched for, worked at, hard won and needing to be held on to tightly for fear it may leave and not return   I do not believe this is how it works.  Being happy is simple.  The capacity to feel content and joyful lies inside of each and every one of us.  Life doesn't always feel easy.  We can get caught up in our thoughts and feel overwhelmed.   It can seem as if external circumstances are conspiring to cause us sadness, pilling up in a bid to bury us beneath.  BUT.   No matter what our circumstances, how much or how little we have, how we feel, we can all pause for a moment, step out of our thinking, to acknowledge the astounding fact that we are here, now.  We are alive.   This moment is ours to enjoy.

Sitting here today bringing this little blog space back to life, with it's shiny new name and in the publishing of this post, is lighting me up.   Watch this space to follow our continuing family adventures. Over the next couple of weeks I shall be serialising our recent holiday to a beautiful island that we have fallen in love with.